My senior yearbook post included a list of things that I planned to accomplish. I was going to become a teacher, get married, have a child, and make a difference in the world. I did the first three, but I am still wondering if I have or will ever make a difference in the world. At age seventeen, I thought it was pretty simple. My list contained all the things that you would expect in a happy life.
Looking back, I now realize how naive I was. I didn't realize that so much more comes along with the responsibilities of a career, a marriage, and raising a child. Life has been far from simple and definitely perfectly happy all the time. I've spent most of my time working - working to be successful, working to meet everyone's expectations, working to avoid mistakes and avoid confrontation, working to please and take care of others, working to balance everything on a plate that seems to always be ready to topple over, working...
At age 46, I'm left wondering where am I going. In two years, my daughter will be off to college. In five years, I can retire.
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